I do not subscribe to “InStyle.” Could you tell?

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Today my sister, heretofore referred to as Bridezilla (I’m sorry, but you’ve earned it), posted an entry about an idea she saw mentioned in some sort of literary magazine known as “InStyle Weddings.”

I do not read “InStyle Weddings.”

I can only imagine that this is a sister publication to the other magazine that I do not read, known as “In Style.” I have been told that this magazine is full of oodles of great ideas on how to shop on a budget (if your budget is $5k a month…shoe budget, that is) and basically how to be a kick ass New Yorker.

Since my coworkers bring their dogs to work and generally are slobs, and I don’t live in New York, I don’t read “InStyle.” And since I’m lonely and single and sober (sometimes), I sure as hell stay the fuck away from “InStyle Weddings.”

But apparently for a mere $1400, you too can be like “InStyle Weddings” and have a photobooth taking reams of photos of people at your wedding. Great idea…although this makes the common misconception that people actually want to and/or intend to remember your wedding. Here are things people tend to remember about weddings:

1. The wedding bitch: Every wedding has one. It can be anyone — an aunt, a sister (I might assume the role), a mom, yes, even the bride. The woman who bitches out a three year old or throws a fit because they run out of champagne will be remembered by either the three year old or the bartender.
2. The person you saw dance who you never knew could dance: How weird is that when your stoic economics teacher from eighth grade suddenly busts a move?
3. The person who cries: Again, memorable to a few judgmental people for the mere fact that they make it awkward for everyone else.

I might be the wedding bitch who cries while she’s dancing. You never know. I’m the maid of honor, after all.

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